Recently I took a walk through Barnes and Noble (one of my happy places) and I came across a new book that was published earlier this month by Ashley Graham titled: “A New Model: What Confidence, Beauty & Power Really Look Like.” I thumbed through it a bit and she talks about how she broke barriers in the fashion/modeling industry and how many obstacles she overcame to get where she is now. She’s all for body positivity and embracing the body you have and not striving to look like others. Needless to say….I LOVE HER!!! She’s an amazing influence on females today.
In bed later that same night while I was
pissing my time away researching, I was scrolling through my news feed on Facebook and I came across an article titled: “They’re Saying This Nigerian Model Has The Perfect Body.”
Hold up a sec…. two run ins with the notion of female body image in one day?????? I think my spirits were telling me that a blog post about body image was needed ASAP!!!
Buuuuuut, back to the article…..articles that deal with the female body, self-love, self-esteem or confidence always seem to catch my eye. I decided to click on it and up pops this beautiful lady with amazing natural curves. I read through the comments (which one should never do lol) but most comments were saying things of this nature:
That’s the perfect body!
I’d kill for her looks!
Only a handful were adamant about the fact that there’s no such thing as the “perfect” body.
I can’t lie, in my opinion the model, Uche Mba, is naturally beautiful but articles like these make women compare themselves to other women when we should be uplifting them instead. Every girl we walk by is an opponent instead of an ally. I’ve felt this many times and it SUCKS!! I’ve been training myself to think that other women aren’t my competition, they should be my supporters and I should be theirs. It’s difficult because women as a whole have already been trained to see other females as a competitor.
This. Needs. To. Stop. Because…
We all have vaginas dammit!!!! We NEED to stick together. MEN DON’T UNDERSTAND US LADIES!!! (Side note: It is my time of the month so there will probably be more CAPS AND YELLING in this post….but see if you’re a woman you TOTALLY get me right….right?… Right!) ACTUALLY MAYBE I SHOULD KEEP CAPS LOCK ON FOR THE REST OF THIS POST…..Fiiiiine, I won’t …because it’s super annoying to read, but make no mistake, I am shouting behind my screen!
So yeah, kudos to this girl for loving herself and for other people loving her too, but people should strive to be their own definition of perfect. First off, perfection is unattainable (based on the Merriam-Webster definition of perfection: freedom from fault or defect), but I do believe that you create what “perfection” means to you. This doesn’t mean you can sit there and be like: okay now I can sit on my butt 24/7 and die of a heart attack. No. No. No. Creating your own definition of perfect will let you feel more comfortable with yourself. It can act as a reminder that no one else can be you and that you can’t (and shouldn’t want to) be anyone else and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
One more thing….Take a good look at the photo below.
Before you keep reading, just do me a favor and scoop your jaw up off of the floor so you can understand my point of view….go on..pick it up…!! Thanks 🙂 Lol!
Now that your face is intact, I have to say this….I think they’re both stunning, but calling either one of them “perfect” doesn’t make that much sense. Let me explain….They both look COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. So in my mind, saying one is perfect automatically diminishes the beauty of the other one. If I had to call either one of them perfect, my explanations for doing so would be vastly different by default. I wouldn’t want to take away from the beauty from either one so I’d have to differentiate somehow and elaborate on their differing types of ‘perfection.’
In regards to defining your own perfection, this is what I suggest….
Pick the things you love about yourself and what you find beautiful in other people and that should help create your own special definition of perfection.
Here’s what I choose…
A big heart, a sense of humor, healthy (as in what healthy looks like on an individual because everyone’s “healthy” body is different) and big eyes!
So tell me….
What’s in your definition of perfection?
P.S. To go along with this post, I created a new Betty & Friends comic to show my view on body image! Check it out!